Bernieisms are fun quotes created or compiled by Bernie Cronin.

They are here to entertain, inspire and at times break the ice.


  • While you’re scalping me why don’t you give me a haircut?
  • Don’t step over dollars to pick up dimes
  • This dog won’t hunt
  • I call a bar a ‘Thirst parlor’
  • It’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog
  • You don’t have to be crazy to work here. I’ll teach you
  • There’s no traffic jam on the extra mile
  • A cocktail is an ‘Adult Beverage’
  • The only ‘Fast Buck’ is in the Forest
  • Don’t should on me!!
  • The profit is in the hire
  • He’s so cocky he sends congratulatory notes to his parents on his birthday
  • We don’t think ourselves into a new way of acting; we act ourselves into a new way of thinking
  • No means we agree to disagree agreeably. Sales is about NO!
  • CEO means cut expenses often
  • ‘Notivation’…NO is positive…it is a decision
  • Florida is a sunny place with shady people
  • Life is a sexually transmitted disease that is always fatal
  • You can’t spend overhead
  • You hire John Wayne on FRIDAY and Woody Allen comes in on MONDAY
  • Never confuse motion with action
  • You can make excuses and you can make money but you can’t do both
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